end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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