He is an equal opportunity slut.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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