I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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