OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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