we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
