Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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