hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think your dad took our porno
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
