I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
