im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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