You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
