Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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