Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
only you would photoshop your dick
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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