I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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