Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
