i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
