Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
