I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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