I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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