North Korea, Best Korea!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Drunk is a universal language darling
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