yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
