I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
