Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize