Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize