Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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