Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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