You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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