where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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