Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize