How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
