If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
