i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
