I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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