Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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