woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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