Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
