she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
