dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize