Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize