You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize