i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
