There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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