WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
