let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
