God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
