btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
