seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
