I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
