Tell her she can't have a vagina
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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