you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
