CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Someone shattered a urinal.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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