we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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