When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
