i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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