you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
