what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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