And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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