is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
