its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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