I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize