Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
