Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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