oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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