omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
