you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
