well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
