that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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