So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
