I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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