How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i came on her dog
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
