I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
