if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
