i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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