This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
