they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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