TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
