do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
