IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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